Don't Visit Canberra

CAST

In case you were unaware, since I was last in the habit of posting some years ago, I have moved to Canberra for work.

Since I arrived, Canberra has been voted by the OECD as the BEST PLACE TO LIVE IN THE ENTIRE WORLD. Like, um actually. And also the coffee really isn’t that bad.

Despite the fact that Canberra is demonstrably the best place in the entire world, it suffers a terrible reputation and is mercilessly teased by people who have only ever visited once on year 5 school camp. That’s a tough gig, you can be the best place in the entire world to live and still be a national laughing stock.

When you tell people that you live in Canberra you often get the same reaction:

  

Sometimes people actually tell me that Canberra sucks, to my face. I would never tell someone that their town sucks!

One time at the snow, someone on a chairlift actually said to me “you are so lucky to live in Canberra.”

I raced to tell Rosario and she nearly died of heart failure.

"Was he joking?"

He wasn’t but he was referencing the fact that we are so lucky to live to close to the snow. So really he doesn’t think that the living Canberra is that great, more than it’s extremely easy to leave and travel somewhere better.

Even our tourism slogan sounds like an apology. Canberra’s slogan is "Visit Canberra". Talk about being ambitious.

What about “Come and Fall in Love in Canberra”? or “Come Make Canberra Home”? Or even “Canberra: home to the oldest living culture and the brightest futures”.

No. It’s “Visit Canberra”. Like, pretty please come for a very short stay? Then you can leave after you’ve seen the gallery.

Ridiculous.

The truth is, Canberra is really actually super great! Where other cities have traffic, we have tulips. I wouldn’t change it.

Other people think this too. I know you won’t believe me so….

These are Marsha's reflections on Canberra, in her own words!

I had the preconceived idea that Canberra was boring from OTHER people's year 5 camp stories despite not ever having visited myself - but I was there a few weekends ago for a National Science Week event and Canberra was ridiculously delightful in so many ways. Food, culture, weather, city planning, the list goes on. Most underrated city in Australia. Exaggeration? Perhaps but unlikely. You should start a Canberra Appreciation Society Elle, and I will join.

For almost three years I have been trying to convince people that Canberra is really lovely.


It hasn’t been working.

I was recently lamenting on facebook that Australians are outwardly mean to my city even though I put up with their perpetual stupidity with as much grace as I can muster.

A facebook comment from Anneon:

"Shhhh, keep telling them it's boring. That way we can keep the drive-through parking spots and good specials at woolies" is dad's answer.

I was telling a senior manager at work about this and she basically agreed with the sentiment.

I believe her exact words were: “meh, let’s keep it a secret, keep the wankers out.”

Never was a more perfect sentence uttered in human history.

So now I’ve started a new campaign, rather than trying to tell people to visit Canberra, I’ve decided, if you don’t like it here, then great. Don’t visit Canberra because we’re trying to keep the wankers out.

I have even made a poster.

Look at those wonderful images of pristine wanker free heaven. Delightful.

Shelley’s OK by the way (I could sense your rising panic).

Smell