Don't Panic Guys, Shelley's OK: Agree to Disagree

CAST OF REGULAR CHARACTERS CONTAINED IN THIS POST

I don’t know about you but I really hate getting into conversations on controversial topics with people I don’t know well.

With family and friends I love nothing more to discuss feminist issues, the economy, carbon taxes and such. Even if these people have wildly different opinions to me, I can always find a way of getting into a healthy debate.

The problem with people you don’t know well is that (a) you have no idea what their views are and (b) you have no idea how they will react if their views are challenged.

If someone is overtly racist or homophobic I’m not going to put up with that and I will also assert my feminism from time to time if I’m backed into a corner. Having said that I mostly attempt to steer clear of topics of conversation that are likely to result in conflict with co-workers, friends of friends and anyone else with whom I’d prefer to have a totally mundane and functional relationship.

“I mean George Bush wasn’t really a bad president.”

“Um, I just remembered that I have to go buy a... hat. In case my head gets a bit cold later. See ya!”

From time to time though, we all find ourselves in a situation where despite our best intentions; we disagree with someone we’d really prefer not disagree with.

This steams from accidentally thinking that you agree when you don’t.

“Suzie and Francine are going to be late. Typical.”

“Ergh, I know she’s always like that!"

“It’s because she thinks that she’s the centre of the universe.”

“OMG I know, I had no idea that you thought that!!! Wow, yeah she’s just so full of herself. I mean I know that she had cancer and all and that’s sad blah blah but that was, you know, years ago and she’s totally milking it for the pity. I mean, don’t be such a victim, just because you had cancer doesn’t mean that you can treat other people like dirt.”

“Oh wait, you’re talking about Suzie, I mean Francine is a bit full of herself. I like Suzie.”

At this point you cannot backtrack, you can’t smooth it over, the truth is out, you disagree about whether or no Suzie is a massive horrible person or not. U-G-L-Y.

“No I mean I like Suzie...”

“You just said that you didn’t. She had cancer you know. Oh wait here she comes now!”

The problem here was that you would never have said all those horrible things if you thought that your friend didn’t agree. You are lulled into a sense of security by what you think is common ground, common ground that turns out to be quicksand.

My best friend spends a good portion of her day avoiding getting into conversations with ignorant people about politics. Pretending to check your phone is a good strategy.

“I mean they’re queue-jumpers really.”

“Sorry, I missed all that... I was just sending a text to a friend about dinner, dinner tonight that I intend to eat. With a fork and possibly knife I guess... I mean it depends on the food, maybe it’ll be Asian... um... um... Ooohhh Masterchef! Interesting stuff hey!”

My best friend doesn’t even watch Masterchef, it’s just that it was a good way to get the conversation moving towards something safer.

Recently; however, she did get herself into a political conversation with a colleague. Her co-workers were discussing the carbon tax and pretty much talking about how they didn’t want to pay it. My best friend busied herself with work sensing that she had entered dangerous territory.

Considering that she’s an intelligent woman, it would be surprising to other people how engrossed in her files she was.

“Oooohhh, this file is for Bank West, so fascinating, wow, just wow. A Bank West file. I mean this file will need to be filed.”

“OK guys, I’m just going to copy some documents for this fascinating Bank West file, see ya.”

While working on the Bank West file with the kind of surgical precision that Michalengo was famous for, a colleague struck up a conversation.

“This whole carbon tax debate is just silly don’t you think!”

“I KNOW!!!!! Everyone in this office is so misinformed.”

“Well, you know, they often are. Oh, it’s terrible, you know I mean the Australian economy is doing so much better than the rest of the developed world, we’re in such a good position.”